Without CEOVancouver British Columbia:
Earthworks Industries has announced there will be no new CEO after the untimely demise of the previous office holder. After recently being awarded the "Least Productive CEO Since The Beginning Of Time", Mr Atkinson, on his way to Los Angeles to receive the award, (on shareholder's dime) stopped by the barren scrub of land for which his infamy is based, and while there, tried to walk a few steps, but having spent decades in a dark office doing nothing but watching porn and playing video games with faithful assistant Wormtongue, tripped on a gopher hole and was devoured by climate altered, apparently no longer herbivore, gophers. Share prices immediately skyrocketed, leaving one poor sucker still trying to chart the move.
The seven remaining shareholders briefly considered the long time deceased Kenneth Lay from Enron fame,thinking the longtime dead and the company share a certain affinity. But in the end the seven closed the office, split the salaries and have now, already, done far better iin the last week than the last thirty years.
"Besides" as one permantly damaged equity inflicted man said: "It all comes down to the Italians anyway. If they can't pull this off then we'll all be dead"