AMY's Pleb/s Realizing.....SHAREHOLDER – Stock Car Driver
AMY – Pit chief/crew
CAR – AMY’s “vision”
RACETRACK – EV Industry
PA – A yellow card has just been issued, folks.
DRIVER (to pit crew chief) - I’m smelling some smoke, maybe something from the steering box, not sure. Tires are slippin’ a bit. Gears 2, 3 and 5 are hesitant some, and I think there’s a rubbing on a fairing, back right tire?
NOT AMY PIT CREW – We hear, ya, Johnny. Our systems show nothing wrong with the steering box, will check it out upon entry into pit row. New tires are set to “go”. The gears are hesitant due to the heat from the new tranny oil, they’ll settle in in short time pronto, no worries. That fairing issue, the boys are ready for your entry. All good, mate! See you in a sec.
This car was in and out in less than 30 seconds and well ahead of the pace car.
Now, we’ll hear AMY’s recording for the same driver’s situation.
AMY - Smoke? Well, smoke is better than fire, correct. You know, when it rains, the RACETRACK gets wet and from there, cars can slip up, or down, and who knows what. And when it’s hot and sunny, the racetrack is dry and then the tires grip better. The smoke; Think of it as vaping, it’s all the rage these days; You hearing me, ya hipster? Tires are expensive, Johnny, yous gots to make these tires last at leeeeeeeast another 50 laps. If the gears are slippin’, just skip ‘em, it’s an oval track; How many times do ya really need to shift, ya silly bast#rd? For the fairing, are you sure? EVERYONE at the racetrack is talking about how SWEET our car looks. We’ll duct tape it for now and make sure the car looks good on camera! Every track we go to, we get praised on our new car design. We look good and that’s all that matters! That fairing is as good as taken care of, like a pimple on prom night!
DRIVER (to AMY) – Are you insane?
AMY – Yo, Johnny, you drive for US! We don’t need to win this race. We just need to make sure we finish it, no matter what. A “DNF” is not acceptable. Finishing last, limping in with parts laid on the track even, means nothing to us. Anything other than the minimal, DNF, is SUPERB for us! Did I mention, EVERYONE thinks we look great on the track, our car looks sweeeeet! Who gives a (consonant) about anything else; People are talking about us! Nothing else matter!!! Winning? No DNF is our goal!!!!
AMY'S DRIVER (to spouse/friend/dog/fish/lamp post/pocket lint) – I’m definitely driving for a tadpole high on dried cow embryos. Where’s my agent? Is this driving contract for life? How do I….
AMY’s car did not make it out on the track before the pace car and was therefore disqualified. They did, however, plead, beg, cry, have a sit-in, spit sunflower seeds at everyone near them, and threatened to eat in public naked for the next 20 years before they were granted a “stay” of approval for the next race.
Cheers