Having a bad RVX Day Consider yourself lucky
> >> Just a note from your bottom-dwelling RVX watcher here.
> >>
> >> Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling
> >> down lately about your investment in RVX, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you
> >> to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
> >>
> >> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you
> >> with a few technicalities of my job.
> >>
> >> As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit
> >> to the office. It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is
> >> quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel
> >> powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment
> >> sucks the
> >> water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature.
> >>
> >> It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is
> >> taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and
> >> I've used it several times with no complaints.
> >>
> >> What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the
> >> hose
> >> and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole
> >> suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.
> >>
> >> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to
> >> itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
> >> Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out
> >> from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had
> >> happened.
> >>
> >> The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into
> >> my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the
> >> jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was
> >> not as fortunate.
> >>
> >> When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually
> >> grinding the
> >> jellyfish into the crack of my butt.
> >>
> >> I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.
> >> His
> >> instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five
> >> other
> >> divers, were all laughing hysterically.
> >> Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three
> >> agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes
> >> before I could
> >> reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I
> >> arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
> >> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter
> >> running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub
> >> it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
> >>
> >> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days
> >> because my butt was swollen shut.
> >>
> >> So, next time you're having a bad day with RVX, think about how much
> >> worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.
> >> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my RVX, I love my RVX, I love my
> >> RVX."
> >>
> >> Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish
> >> bad day?
> >>
> >> May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!! *
> >>
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