Obama buys microsoptYou silly wabbits---it's
"BREAKING NEWS!
february 26, 2008
Cash-rich Obama Buys Yahoo
Outbids Microsoft for Internet Giant
Flush with cash after a deluge of online donations, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill)
stunned the business world today by outbidding Microsoft for the Internet
giant
Yahoo.
The purchase of Yahoo is believed to be the largest acquisition of a
multibillion-dollar company ever by a Democratic presidential candidate,
industry
experts said.
A spokesman for Microsoft at the company’s Redmond, Washington headquarters
acknowledged that the company was “disappointed” to lose Yahoo to Sen.
Obama, but
added, “We can’t really be mad at him, because we love him so.”
The news of Sen. Obama’s $48 billion offer for Yahoo sent a shudder
through Sen.
Hillary Clinton (D-NY)’s campaign, which for the past six weeks has been
subsisting
on Ramen noodles.
In his televised debate in Cleveland, Ohio with Sen. Clinton, Sen. Obama
said that
he was able to purchase Yahoo because his campaign was reaping online
donations
averaging $1.8 billion a day.
Mr. Obama also offered to “personally hire” 2 million Ohioans to do odd
jobs around
his campaign headquarters.
“People say, can we really come up with enough errands for 2 million
Ohioans to do?”
he said. “Yes we can.”
Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick praised Sen. Obama’s plan, telling
reporters,
“His campaign is more than just words, he is offering people a real
opportunity to
go on a Starbucks run.”
Sen. Obama later added, “My campaign is more than just words, I am
offering people a
real opportunity to go on a Starbucks run.”
Elsewhere, President Bush said that the economy was not in a recession,
leading
economists to conclude that the economy was in a recession."
Oddleyer elsewherer meanwhiler, Obama, Yo Mama and Osama---after being
polled---and also pooled--- both individually and collectively today---or
maybe correctivly?---i get cofuseder---anyhow, they wus asked:
'how's about chipping in to log the b job well?---lotsa inbreeding and
chicken fighting going on down that a way---and one or some or i think
even alla them declined saying "even us aint' got that much money--and
what in tarnation did the co do with that thar 1200 bucks worth of 'hard
dollars' they jest filed on enyhows?!"
Say---mebbe they can get that black guy who got locked up for dog fighting
to put up some loot---this was another deal that wus revelating to moi--i
mean, can a black guy be a redneck?
i just hadn't considered the possibility before. S'pose it would be
discrimination if they couldn't. But---how would you stop them,
enyhow--like--how could you tell which wuns wus? Mebbe them screening
deals @ the airport? Ultra-violet light? See if they go fishin with
larry the cable guy? Ask them if 'Mother' is a whole word? I dunno.....