Colossus Minerals Inc COLUF

RE: CSI not all roses... yet

[drdiablo]

All of this bears such an uncanny resemblance to the fictional plot of "House 11: The Gigantic Minerals Story" that I have to wonder if a draft has fallen into the wrong hands.  In my screenplay, drill cores concealed beneath the spare tire of an AMC Gremlin belonging to Ari Wussman, CEO of Gigantic, cannot be extricated; the bolt has rusted on.  Ari and his voluptuous IR assistant, Ilona, work feverishly to extract the cores, trying not to damage the samples.  However, because the bolt and hubcap are so eaten with rust, the assay results from the lab come in at 88% iron oxide.  Since nobody wants to mine rust, the SP plummets and shareholders and COOMIGASPERS file lawsuits which are secretly financed by the nefarious House 11, aka Mackerel securities.  The company is circling the drain.  The situation is dire.

I don't want to reveal more details, since it appears that my script has already fallen into the wrong hands, and perhaps been mistaken for fact.  However, suffice it to say that Ari and Ilona save the day, House 11 is vanquished, and Ari marries Ilona.  As a wedding present, he gives her a boatload of cheap options that she cashes in at the same share price we CSI shareholders will in real life:  $105.50.  I do love the movie's closing line.  Ari says that before he met Ilona, he thought IR stood for Investor Relations, but now he knows that it stands for IRresistable.