Go Long You Shmuck... Please forgive me if I indulge in a little fun at the expense of our dear friends who happen to be on the 'short' end of a burning stick...
Go Long, You Shmuck
Sung to the tune of Guy Lombardo's "Enjoy Yourself-- It's Later Than You Think"
You work and work for years and years, busy around the clock
You never take a minute off, too busy shortin' stock
Someday you say, you'll have your fun, when you're a millionaire
Imagine all the fun you'll have in your old rockin' chair
Go long, you Shmuck, it's later than you think
Go long, you Shmuck, while you're still in the pink
The years go by, as quickly as a wink
Go long you Shmuck, Go long you Shmuck, it's time to buy Orbite!
You're gonna take that ocean trip, no matter come what may
You've got your reservations made, but Hykawy won't let you get away
Next year for sure, you'll see the world, you'll really get around
But how far can you travel when you're six feet underground?
Your heart of hearts, your dream of dreams, your ravishing brunette
She's left you and she's now become somebody else's pet
Lay down that gun, don't try my friend to reach the great beyond
You'll have more fun by reaching for a redhead or a blond
Go long, you Shmuck, it's later than you think
Go long, you Shmuck, while you're still in the pink
The years go by, as quickly as a wink
Go long you Shmuck, Go long you Shmuck, it's time to buy Orbite!
You never go to night clubs and you just don't care to dance
You don't have time for silly things like moonlight and romance
You only think of shorting stocks piled neatly in a stack
But when you kiss a stock, it doesn't kiss you back
Go long, you Shmuck, it's later than you think
Go long, you Shmuck, while you're still in the pink
The years go by, as quickly as a wink
Go long you Shmuck, Go long you Shmuck, it's time to buy Orbite!