DrSilbergleit wrote: Hi, I don't know why I started following Cohodes the chicken farmer. It kinda just started as a hobby and after a while I realized that I could get paid to sling lies and twisted facts around. I don't mean anything bad about it. Really all I want to do is fool you into selling your shares for cheap so that my masters can buy them and cover their shorts. I get paid barely enough to pay the rent at my mom's house. She has told me that I have to get a life and move out. She even had the audacity to suggest that I should get a girlfriend and have sex occaisionally. That should work! The ladies will never see through my BS. They will think I am an honest sincere scammer. But first I need to lose some weight, grow some hair, and get rid of all the warts growing all over my body. But I think I am still beautiful, and man o man do I carry a tool. Know what I am saying?? Har Har.
Anyway The wolfpack has come out with the greatest piece of research ever!!! We have determined that every penny that gas prices rise per litre will have a 5% negative effect on real estate prices, and a conservative 10% decline in the alternative lenders. Honest people. This is not BS. Marc has learnt how to read all this math from the chicken eggs. It has taken many years of boiling eggs, frying eggs, poaching eggs. and most importantly, critically important he learnt this from eating those eggs. Like on a good day he eats one to two dozen eggs. He gets High from all the egg FA%TS. That is where he gets his infinite wisdom on the canadian banks.
Anyways, I digress. Back to the the banks. Every penny rise in gas prices leads to 5% negative effect on real estate, and a corresponding 10% decline in alternative lenders earning capacity. Isn't that just amazing. And Vancouver gets an new 1.22 cent per litre tax today. Yeah, and then another 5 pennies when they switch from winter gas to summer gas. Man it is payday at the Wolpacks den. Oh yeah, another confession: The wolfpacks dens is actually a little office we share that we built in the sewer's of new york(think ninja turltles here folks). Yup we spend all day inhaling the gas from all those bay street yorkers #2, and eating those cohodes brainy eggs. Man we have got it made.
Anyway The wolfpack has come out with the greatest piece of research ever!!! We have determined that every penny that gas prices rise per litre will have a 5% negative effect on real estate prices, and a conservative 10% decline in the alternative lenders. Honest people. Are you still with me? Yup Vancouver is set for a 5 cents a litre increase in the next few weeks. We are talking a 50% decline in the alternative lenders in the same time. Oh my Jesus, me is gonna be so rich, I can actually get outta mama's basement. And maybe ditch the sewer office. And eat a MacD's Burger combo. Oh my god how I miss eating a good burger. Oh well, I digress.
This is the only day of the year I can be honest with all you folk. I really am just an idiot. Ignore all the info I spew during the year. It is just as worthless as what you have just finished reading. You can tell who I am because I slam the canadian alternative banks. I am a bitter american who got hammered in the 2008-2009 american bank melt down and I am hell bent on trying to make it happen in Canada. Heck I will even take on the government of Canada and the govererment of China if I have to. But one thing is for sure. Those Canadian Alt banks are going to feel my tool.
I hope you all have a nice April Fools.
The only take away from this? I peddle FAKE NEWS, TWISTED NEWS, and USELESS NEWS. Enjoy the weekend People.
God bless, and don't let me fool you anymore!