Paul... but really fj Thank you for the kind words, you seem to be in a really good place now as far as your mental health goes. I can't believe the way you are unravelling here FJ, but really it could not happen to a more deserving fellow. You are clearly obsessed with male sexuality, so I hope at some point you can reconcile your issues around your own identity. Whatever you are stuggling with, just know that you have a lot of friends here on the GGM bulletin board, who really appreciate all your kind and wise posts here over the past several years.