TXRogers wrote: Like all good theatre, a good “Troll Production” requires a leading man, a supporting sidekick, and a legion of supporting trolls that are devoid of any leadership skills, intellect, or social ability. Their loyalty is their only obligation. However, to lead a Troll pack, one must at least possess a miniscule amount of the above attributes. This way the pack can move forward under an assertive Village Idiot, a plywood violin soundtrack, and hordes of feverish miner-69 backup dancers all self-pleasuring themselves in the IGNORE bowl.
I have over 500 IGNORES, so it appears we are dealing with a whole Troll Park. Rhino, it looks like you are the self-appointed Troll Park Supervisor. And your mate, Geo-Joy-Boy is the official Assistant Troll Park Supervisor.
So, Rhino, I suppose in the spirit of reconciliation I am offering to assist you and your mates in preparing for the next act of your hilarious play. Free of charge, and all the way from my home in Japan. Since certain fads have passed, I can easily obtain and mail to you a second-hand (relatively clean)
Sailor Moon outfit. The wig and lipstick must surely be available in Western Australia for you to purchase on you own free will.
And being the charitable type and fully cognizant of your love of tennis, I can offer something similar for your sidekick Geo-joy-boy. However, your boy being less scrawny and sporting a much larger a$$ than yourself, I think it would be best that I send to him a made-in-China
Serena Williams catsuit instead. Serena is my choice because she obviously shares similar character traits as you. Whew…and that’s not a pretty site despite a common love for the game.
It’s only the bottom half of Serena’s suit that Geo-joy would need to contain his a$$. And your boy may also want to retain her left bra cap, to use as a face mask in a useless attempt to conceal his identity. And with an added silver zipper to keep that mouth of his shut. It will all contribute positively to the overall effect. As most Aussie’s know,
your favorite tennis star has no need to cover her left one. However, not the case with your Geo-joy boy.
And then you two will be ready to beginning practicing for your next scene. Being so off-the-mark with this story to date, your quaint little production would be called “I’m not Ken, and I’m not Dan – And PLEASE don’t tell anyone about this”. A fitting title designed to try and salvage what’s left of your reputations.
Oldfuk can support by recording your performance as it happens, and making sure all is captured for future reference. It would be unfair to ask him to predict what you two could possibly be planning within your twisted little minds. It has proven very elusive to him in the past. However, my track record has been much more consistent so I will lay it all out as usual.
Below is a basic training film I am offering as a guideline. Oldfuk, please take note.
Now, I would imagine this scene above will certainly arouse the swirling sods in the IGNORE bowl. Their Troll Park Supervisor and Assistant Troll Park Supervisor are playing out their fantasies (or at least practicing) without them. The likes of LiquidFeces, BannedInfiniteTimes, the PulpPounder, DooDiligence, etc. must be filled with envy.
But I must ask all you guys to please stop wetting the sheets in Hotel IGNORE. Take comfort in knowing that our Stockhouse NVO board is all about family values, diversity and inclusion. We understand your tensions and dysfunctionality. After all, your Troll Supervision has revealed that “It’s their first time”, and they obviously do not have their act perfected yet.
And one more thing Rhino. Do you recognize the deposit below? Geo-Joy-Boy has been dealing with it all his life, but I am not sure he would recognize such a deposit in Australia where it is rarely seen. Amazingly, it has been discovered in abundance on Pilbara properties in the vicinity of Top Camp adjacent to your “hidden” tenements.
It’s called Moose $hit, Rhino. Legal and Minable Tender for all traveling Troll Pack productions. Here is a scientific explanation on how it is produced. If you don’t quite understand (being an accredited Aussie Village Idiot), maybe Geo-Joy could explain it to you in more detail.
All the while, our Stockhouse laugh track continues unabated. And it will do so for some time by the look of it. All at your collective expense.
And finally, no need to feverishly hammer out and post an enraged and misspelled response to this post. Spare us your incoherent and repetitive babble. It would only result in further hysterics on our side.
Fortunately, we can always count on Geo-Joy not having any time to produce a detailed response. We realize he is once again in a rush and leaving town (where computers don’t seem to function). Sounds a whole lot like his lovely mother. God bless her, she offered so much more value.
Much appreciate it guys.
Tx
P.S. You fairies could really help yourselves if you simply buggered off. After all, this is
No Country for Old Men.