Stan | Do I really have to do this, Dad? |
Randy | Stan, now more than ever you need to understand the importance of saving money. |
Stan | But Grandma said I could use this money to buy whatever I want. |
Benny | Okay, next please. |
Randy | Go on, Stanley. [Stan walks up to Benny's desk and takes a seat.] |
Benny | How can I help you, young man? |
Stan | I got a hundred dollar check from my grandma, and my dad said I need to put it in EXCELSIOR STOCK so it can grow over the years. |
Benny | Well that's fantastic, a really smart decision, young man. We can put that check in some GREEN INSITU COPPER PLAY, then we'll reinvest the earnings into MORE SHARES OF EXCELSIOR.....aaand it's gone. [they look at each other for a long time] |
Stan | Uh, what? |
Benny | It's gone. It's all gone. |
Stan | What's all gone? |
Benny | The money in your account - it didn't do too well, it's gone. |
Stan | What do you mean? I have a hundred dollars. |
Benny | Not anymore you don't. POOF. |
Stan | Well, what can I do to get back my money-? |
Benny | I'm sorry sir, but this line is for bank members only. |
Stan | I just opened an account. |
Benny | Do you have any money invested in this bank? |
Stan | No, you just lost it all! |
Benny | Then please stand aside for people who actually have money with us. Next please. [an elderly woman steps up and bumps Stan out of the chair.] |
Stan | Hey! |
Benny | Hello Mrs. Farnickle, how are you today? Making a deposit are we? Great, we can just put that into MORE EXCELSIOR STOCK and make it go to work for you aaaaand it's gone. |
Mrs. Farnickle | What? |
Benny | Sorry, yeah, that's gone. Please step aside for people who actually have money with the bank. Next please. |
Stan | Dad! |
Randy | Hey I'm trying to teach my son the importance of savings. You already lost his money? |
Benny | Oh, Mr. Marsh, don't worry. We can just transfer money from your account into a portfolio with your son's EXCELSIOR STOCK-- aaand it's gone! This line is for people who have money with the bank only. Please step aside! [both Randy and Stan are dumbstruck.] |