A Theralase Christmas Party ??From: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees.
Nov 9, 2021
Re: Gala Christmas Party.
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas party will take place on December 23rd. startng at noon in the in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols....feel free to sing along.
Don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus. A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however no gift should be over $10:00 to make the gift giving easy on everyones pockets. This gathering is for employees only.
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!!
Merry Christmas to all: Patty Lewis.
Company Memo.
From: Patty Lewis: HRD.
To: All Employees.
Nov 10, 2021
RE: Gala Holiday Party.
In no way was yesterdays memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukka is an important holiday which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we are calling it our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies
to any other employees who are not Christians, and to those still celebrating Reconcilliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy Holidays to All.
PATTY.
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis: Human Resources Director.
TO: All Employees.
Date: Nov. 11. 2021
RE: Holiday Party:
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn't sign your name.
I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads "AA Only", you no longer would be anonymous anymore. Suggestions?
In addition; forget about the gift exchange. no gift exchanging will be allowed as union members feel that $10:00 is too much and the executives believe that $10:00 is a little chintzy.
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director.
TO: All Employees
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that december 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of the year does not accommodate our Muslim employees beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off serving your meal until the end of the party or perhaps package it in doggy bags that you might take home.
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each group will have their own table.
Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for all tables not just for the Gay men's table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, I'm sorry but the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed because of concerns about restroom confusion. Sorry.
Yes we will have booster seats for short people.
Low fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I'm sorry we cannot control the amount of salt in the food. Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure should take a small taste bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply 'no sugar" desserts, sorry.
Have I missed Anytthing???
Company Memo
From: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director.
TO: All F*%#ing employees
Date: Nov 12, 2021
RE: The F#%*ing Holiday Party
I've had it with all you vegetarian pr-ks!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death" as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your f%*#ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes.
The rest of you f*^%#ing weirdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
The B+tch from H*ll:: Human Resources Director.
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director.
Date: Nov. 13, 2021
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party.
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay, Happy Holidays.