What happened?THE PIRATE
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey I haven't seen you in awhile. What happened? You look terrible."
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, I feel fine."
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now".
"Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"Oh, that... We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really."
"What about that eye patch?" "Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them $h_t in my eye."
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "how the heck did you lose an eye just from some bird$h_t."
"It was my first day with the hook."
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OUCH!