And so -- thanks to a missive from an anonymous reader -- we now have a brilliant idea to share with Julian Fantino, once Ontario's top cop but now guardian of the nation's geriatric constituency as federal Minister of State for Seniors.
It's all about the boom, and the bust, but with a different echo.
It's about unavoidable demographics.
We suspect, sooner rather than later, the numbers represented by the aging but longer-living Baby Boomer generation will far exceed the needs and demands of our federal prison population.
So, here's the deal that could make the new prison budget an easier sell.
When the time comes, and it will be coming very soon as seniors begin outliving their money, let's consider putting seniors in the new jails and the criminals in the old nursing homes.
This would correct a multitude of inequities.
For the first time for many, law-abiding seniors who slogged a lifetime for little wherewithal would have the luxury of access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They would have perks never imagined.
They would have constant video monitoring in case they ever fell. Bedding would be washed twice a week, ironed, folded, and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 30 minutes. All meals and snacks would be brought to them.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have a library, fitness facilities, spiritual counselling and educational opportunities.
Simple clothing -- slippers, PJs, jumpsuits -- would be free, as well as the computer, TV and radio provided for every lounge.
And there would be a federal ombudsman to fight for their rights.
As for the criminals, well ...
They would receive cold food. They would be left alone and unsupervised. Their rooms would smell, and so would they.
If lucky, they might receive a shower once a week.
They would live in tiny rooms, while forced to pay upwards of $5,000 a month. And they would be deservedly joyless.
It's a win-win.