The billiard room chalkboardTHE SCENE: An English country pub, grizzled elders in the corners, heads down, beers in hand.
ENTERS, MAIN DOOR, mick1888: "Ah TAN, these many days have been up to challenge the lesser lights of this forlorn place!"
SEATED, STAGE RIGHT, Takeactionow: "Greetings, mick, how be thine wife? You have recovered from the thrashing of the lithium salts?"
MICK: "Ay, TAN, you bold cockarel you! And where has your boasting left ye?"
TAN: "Be still, mick me mate, for on yonder board (TAN POINTS TO BILLIARD CHALKBOARD ON WALL] lies all the evidence we shall ever need!"
STAGE LIGHTING COMES UP TO SHOW WRITING ON CHALKBOARD, WHICH READS AS FOLLOWS: "Know thee all that certain gentlemen have played, and played well, and here is the score of this very match that all have beholden: In the writing of the tale, one-nil; in the breadth of the tale, one-nil; in the performance of the match, one-nil."
MICK: "Crikey TAN! To see it there writ large is more than a bloke can expect, but it surely doth tell the sad and sorry tale!"
TAN: "Barkeep! An ale to quench this gentleman's thirst, and one for me to toast the victory!"
GRIZZLED ELDERS LAUGH GENTLY ... THE LIGHTS GO DOWN.