Candax Energy Inc CXEYF

Troll Eradication Program - Critical Update

[OceanRanger1]

For immediate release:

Apologies to the board. The previous post was bungled during transmission and was only partially posted. Apparently the member entrusted to deliver this critical update to the membership defied a direct order not to use John Clarke's personal fax machine to transmit the news.

The good news is that on closer inspection of John's personal fax machine a large stack of documents which were found concealed inside. It would appear that the machine was purposely sabotaged. The newly found documents are so badly damaged they had to be sent out for forensic analysis. Members will be advised of the content as it becomes available.

John was contacted for comments on the situation and he replied "look I did the best I could ok, now just leave me alone. I mean, at least I dialed the right number and had the fax facing the right way. Why are you journalists always focused on the negatives anyway? Things don't always go according to plan you know".

Thanks for that update John


 

Just a reminder that the new Candax Forum has officially been opened for business.

To be clear the new Candax forum welcomes all opinions both good or bad for the purpose of healthy debate. There is a zero tolerance for personal attacks of any kind. No warnings. Any infractions will be dealt with swiftly and decisively with permanent exile.


Just remember that:
 
All are welcome                           Multiple opinions sought            No Trolls allowed.


Some time during the night before the grand opening of the new Candax forum there was a security breach. The security chief commented that "we're not quite sure how they managed to breach our security but steps are being taken to prevent any further lapses in security. We are not really sure how many of the trolls made it across the wire but the number could be substantial. Members are reminded that the ignore button is your best defense against troll attacks".

There have been scattered reports of minor clashes with the invaders but as of yet there have not been any large-scale organized troll attacks. Members can take comfort in the knowledge that forum executives have dispatched several of the beasts themselves and must always remember that we have the advantage of intelligence on our side. 

There has been an official request tendered to stockhouse requesting to re-label the ignore button to something more appropriate for the purpose of this forum. We have requested "troll ejection button". Members will receive updates on this matter soon.

There has been some research done on the troll population and the executive of the board feel it is important for members to be armed with all the available intelligence. This is what we know for now:

At one time the trolls were actually normal, mild-mannered shareholders. The avalanche of bad news flooding into the old candax-land apparently overwhelmed a segment of the population within the land. It has been discovered that the troll population carries a gene deeply embedded in their genetic code. The "troll-gene" is rare and usually remains dormant but due to an unknown trigger it has become active.
 
The trolls are not hard to recognize when they are in their natural form because of their grotesque deformities however they are skilled in the art of camoflage and often wait in ambush for unsuspecting victims. They have also been known to morf into normal shareholders for short periods of time but inevitably they revert to the troll form.

Trolls are generally solitary beasts but they are also known to travel in packs. They are generally over-weight (even obese), have poor eye-sight and posess low levels of intelligence. While it is widely known that trolls attack from under bridges they are also known to hide in caves or heavy underbrush. 

Trolls generally inhabit the lower level of their parent's burrow - rarely leaving the comfort and security of their parent's den. It would appear that the troll gene is spreading due to the incestuous habits of the beasts. Sadly, successive in-breeding has resulted in the off-spring being born with signs of active "troll-genes" even at birth.

Researchers have also made another startling discovery which is particular to the male of the species. There is a severe mutation to the male genitalia - that being the complete absence of any testicles. Even with the most powerful tele-photo lens available there was absolutely no sign of testicles. It is thought that the testicles withdrew into the body cavity of the males as just another horrible troll mutation.  

Board members can take comfort in the knowledge that the executive of the new forum is actively engaged in intelligence gathering on a global scale as well. We have been given security clearance to access top secret CIA files relating to the growing threat of terror emerging from the troll population. 

We can confirm that the Candax Trolls have made contact with a a well known troll terror network which is based high in the mountains of north-eastern Afghanistan and north-west Pakistan. The Taliban-Trolls are also linked to the Al Quaeda Trolls and their leadership has known links direct to the infamous Osama Bin Laden Troll. It is widely speculated that the Bin Laden Troll has long since died but the stubborn trolls refuse to confirm that intelligence as he continues to inspire them even in death. 

This is an alarming development as it indicates the Candax trolls are becoming more militant. There has been a considerable amount of "chatter" picked up between the various factions suggesting that the Candax Trolls may be trying to acquire a dirty-bomb. Fortunately the beasts are so dumb they think a dirty bomb is just a regular bomb with dirt on it.

Members should also beware of possible suicide attacks from the more aggressive factions. Remember - 

"Fear not the trolls as we stand united against them".


Updates will follow as they become available.


                                                                                            copyright protected.


Haha


My confidence remains unshaken as I stand long and strong on Candax.

Still swinging for the fences.

Run baby Run!


OceanRanger

 

P.S. I hate trolls