Tesoro Top Ten The top ten reasons for poor drill results at Tesoro.
- Representatives from a consortium of nations, after witnessing solid gold drill cores being pulled from the giant anomaly, forced the St. Elias geologists at gunpoint to report only the worst intercepts in order to hide the magnitude of the deposit. A lowball offer for the property is currently in the works.
- No one knew how to use the GPS thingy.
- A band of gold bugs suppressed the actual drill results fearing that if the truth were known about the countless trillions of ounces Tesoro contains, the price of gold would instantaneously collapse. It’s for our own good, people.
- Tesoro gold, cunning as it is, can dodge core drills, however can’t seem to avoid being picked up by boot treads.
- Lori wants every last share before announcing the actual results as evidenced by her selling nearly her entire position.
- A slight shift in magnetic north threw off the drillers, who accidentally missed the three hundred million ounce deposit by mere inches 43 different times.
- The United Nations concealed the real results knowing every nation on the planet would try to claim it, thereby averting World War 3.
- The geologists and drillers did not follow industry standards because they were actually amputees borrowed from a Peruvian orphanage in order to cut costs.
- The drilling team, while fine-tuning, fine-tuning, fine-tuning, missed the 1.5 kilometre wide anomaly 43 separate times, sighting the massive pink blob as “elusive” and “not playing fair.”
- It’s bigger than we think.
The above is satire and is not based on anything factual. Reading the above should not be considered any reasonable form of due diligence when making an investment decision. For goodness sake consult a professional financial advisor before throwing any more money in the toilet, will you.